Saturday, January 31, 2015

We're Pregnant!

July 26th 2014. That was the day we finally found out about our dinosaur. A HUGE blessing in the form of a teeny tiny person the size of a poppy seed. 

I wished we had this amazing spiritual pregnancy story. You know the one's i'm talking about. Where the wife in all her beautiful glory and amazingly perfect hair waltzes in and tells her husband lovingly that they are about to be parents. Yeah, ours was nothing like that! 

I had already been sick for about 3 weeks. I was convinced I actually had the flu, but I was too tired to go see a doctor to verify this. I know my body right? I can tell when I'm actually sick versus having a cold. The nausea and achy body had already set in. A co worker had casually mentioned that I might be pregnant and I should take a test to find out. I nonchalantly brushed off her suggestion all the while thinking in my head how crazy she was. Doesn't she realize that's just not possible? We paid thousands of dollars for doctors to prove that it just wasn't possible. 

The night before we found out was my sister in laws birthday. We were driving to her party and after having to pull over multiple times within the 20 minute drive to get sick on the side of the road I started to worry. I had never been this sick for so long and all those crazy horrible scenarios started going through my head. The one's where you automatically jump to things like having a fatal disease or cancer. Needless to say we showed up late and had to tell everyone why. My mother in law also casually suggested I should take a pregnancy test. Again, I brushed off the suggestion, mentally refusing to take one. 

Pregnancy tests have always been bad luck for us. Every time I had taken one in the past Mother Nature came a few hours later to laugh at me. It was as if she had to tell me how ridiculous I was being for ever thinking a baby was a possibility. BUT, since i kept getting sick throughout that night and couldn't sleep I finally set my mind to taking a test. I was up at 6 am the next morning and went to take it. I didn't want to tell Joshua I was taking it because I didn't want him to get his hopes up. So I left him sleeping and took the test. I knew it would be negative but at least I could take it then go see a doctor to figure out why I was actually sick. 

When I took the test and it was positive I literally sat there staring at it for about 30 minutes. Finally, I calmly got up, took another test and then was convinced. I walked into our bedroom with my hair a mess and wearing ratty pj's to look at my sleeping husband and then all I could do was scream at him to wake up. Let me explain, that my husband doesn't wake up easily and doesn't comprehend things you tell him when he's just barely woken up. So when I jumped on the bed and told him he was going to be a dad he didn't react. I think he said something along the lines, "oh that's nice" then promptly fell back asleep. After a few more shakes and explanations I was able to convince him that we were actually about to be parents. 

Instead of being overjoyed and just celebrating the fact that everything we've been praying for for the last 3.5 years has finally happened, my mind went into panic mode. I can't imagine I'm the only one who thinks this way either, but I automatically started thinking about the stress involved with having a baby that never seemed to have crossed my mind before. We just bought a house, are we going to be able to afford me staying at home? How was I going to keep a child alive and happy? Was I even fit to be a mom? 

All my worries and fears seemed to dissipate once we were able to see that precious beautiful little body growing within me. Once we had that confirmation of hearing his heartbeat and knowing he was with us and that he was absolutely perfect we finally allowed ourselves that celebration.  

Since then, its been nothing but shopping, planning and sickness. And we wouldn't have it any other way! 

No comments:

Post a Comment