We're Pregnant!

July 26th 2014. That was the day we finally found out about our dinosaur. A HUGE blessing in the form of a teeny tiny person the size of a poppy seed. 

I wished we had this amazing spiritual pregnancy story. You know the one's i'm talking about. Where the wife in all her beautiful glory and amazingly perfect hair waltzes in and tells her husband lovingly that they are about to be parents. Yeah, ours was nothing like that! 

I had already been sick for about 3 weeks. I was convinced I actually had the flu, but I was too tired to go see a doctor to verify this. I know my body right? I can tell when I'm actually sick versus having a cold. The nausea and achy body had already set in. A co worker had casually mentioned that I might be pregnant and I should take a test to find out. I nonchalantly brushed off her suggestion all the while thinking in my head how crazy she was. Doesn't she realize that's just not possible? We paid thousands of dollars for doctors to prove that it just wasn't possible. 

The night before we found out was my sister in laws birthday. We were driving to her party and after having to pull over multiple times within the 20 minute drive to get sick on the side of the road I started to worry. I had never been this sick for so long and all those crazy horrible scenarios started going through my head. The one's where you automatically jump to things like having a fatal disease or cancer. Needless to say we showed up late and had to tell everyone why. My mother in law also casually suggested I should take a pregnancy test. Again, I brushed off the suggestion, mentally refusing to take one. 

Pregnancy tests have always been bad luck for us. Every time I had taken one in the past Mother Nature came a few hours later to laugh at me. It was as if she had to tell me how ridiculous I was being for ever thinking a baby was a possibility. BUT, since i kept getting sick throughout that night and couldn't sleep I finally set my mind to taking a test. I was up at 6 am the next morning and went to take it. I didn't want to tell Joshua I was taking it because I didn't want him to get his hopes up. So I left him sleeping and took the test. I knew it would be negative but at least I could take it then go see a doctor to figure out why I was actually sick. 

When I took the test and it was positive I literally sat there staring at it for about 30 minutes. Finally, I calmly got up, took another test and then was convinced. I walked into our bedroom with my hair a mess and wearing ratty pj's to look at my sleeping husband and then all I could do was scream at him to wake up. Let me explain, that my husband doesn't wake up easily and doesn't comprehend things you tell him when he's just barely woken up. So when I jumped on the bed and told him he was going to be a dad he didn't react. I think he said something along the lines, "oh that's nice" then promptly fell back asleep. After a few more shakes and explanations I was able to convince him that we were actually about to be parents. 

Instead of being overjoyed and just celebrating the fact that everything we've been praying for for the last 3.5 years has finally happened, my mind went into panic mode. I can't imagine I'm the only one who thinks this way either, but I automatically started thinking about the stress involved with having a baby that never seemed to have crossed my mind before. We just bought a house, are we going to be able to afford me staying at home? How was I going to keep a child alive and happy? Was I even fit to be a mom? 

All my worries and fears seemed to dissipate once we were able to see that precious beautiful little body growing within me. Once we had that confirmation of hearing his heartbeat and knowing he was with us and that he was absolutely perfect we finally allowed ourselves that celebration.  

Since then, its been nothing but shopping, planning and sickness. And we wouldn't have it any other way! 

Our Road to Parenthood

Some of you may know that Joshua and I have had a struggle getting pregnant since we got married. Months of heartache turned into years of sorrow that seemed to have no end. Even though we have only been married for a little over three years we have been praying for a little bundle since the first day. At first we just assumed, okay maybe we aren't as ready as we thought we were and Heavenly Father was just telling us we need to get our act together. But when two years came and went it started to feel like maybe this was one of those "struggles" people talk about having when they get married. 

Joshua and I were always told when we first got married that marriage was hard, and we would have a hard first year together. But everything went according to plan. We live, love and are DEFINITELY happy! But we knew something was missing. 

When we were advised that we should seek help in getting pregnant, it was such a shock. You don't ever think when you get married that the next step of starting a family is going to be a lot harder than it should be! Especially when medically they can't find anything wrong with us. That, I think is the worst part about it. It's called "unexplained infertility". And it means exactly that, "unexplained". Medically, they can't find whats causing us to not get pregnant. So after a LOT praying and buckets full of tears we decided that we would start the IVF process. IVF is In Vitro Fertilization. Basically, they surgically remove my eggs and fertilize them in a lab and implant the fertilized egg back inside me and VIOLA a baby is scientifically created! weird huh? The whole process is crazy! LOTS of medications and a VERY strict schedule! Just so you get a hint of some of the medications here they are:

And these are just the shots, it does not include the pills I have to take! It has not been an easy journey and it isn't over for us. However, we are so incredibly blessed that my mother works for one of the best IVF clinics in Northern CA. So the process, although physically and emotionally exhausting, was much easier for us than we expected it to be. But even if you aren't fortunate enough to have someone close to you helping you out like we do, there are great programs and clinics out there to help with the toll this type of situation takes on a couple. There are also a lot of great programs out there to help with the cost of medications for fertility treatments. We also have an AMAZING IVF nurse who happens to be LDS which was GREAT since there is absolutely no privacy within this process!! So it makes it a little more bearable to have someone who understands what garments are!! Also her husband happens to work across the hall from her as a chiropractor and was available to give me a blessing when things got rough! 

You hear about people who can't get pregnant and automatically think "that's so sad" "I don't know what I would do if that were me". Then when it actually is you, your world is quite literally shifted into a whole new dimension. Watching every single one of your friends start their family with little to no effort is beyond difficult. Because you truly are happy for them, but it VERY hard not to feel envy or resentment. I think that is one of the hardest parts of all this. Just seeing happy families being started and knowing it'll never be that easy for you. 

Who ever said making a baby is the best part, honestly had NO idea what they were talking about. Daily shots, medications and in our case doctors appointments everyday is not fun. We started this process on February 8th 2013 and unfortunately our first try did not result in a baby. But we are incredibly optimistic and are planning to go in for an FET (frozen embryo transfer) in January and hopefully this time we will have a healthy baby boy or girl!

One Year Annviersary!

One Year Of Wedded Bliss

Joshua and I had a veryy interesting (to say the least) first anniversary! It is so amazing to think we've lasted this far and it still seems like its only been a few weeks! We have been so incredibly blessed this past year as we strived to find ourselves as a married couple. It's funny because going into marriage we were expecting to fight all the time, since everyone told us it would be so hard the first year. But Joshua and I found out even more about each other that made us come closer together. There has been no doubt since the first day i laid eyes on him that we were meant to spend forever with one another and i am so grateful everyday that i get to wake up to his face. 

The week of our anniversary we suffered a huge loss.

  As unexpected as these situations most of the time are, Joshua's sweet Grandmother past away September 6, 2011. We were very lucky to have been able to fly out to Utah to go to the services and see all his family. It was the first time i got to meet his mothers family and it was fun to get to know cousins and uncles and aunts. We all came together as a family to grieve for such a wonderful woman who left us at the ripe age of only 67. She must have some wonderful work to do with our Heavenly Father to be taken so quickly from this Earth. We miss her so dearly everyday.

Joshua's 24th Birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOSHUA!!

So for Joshua's birthday I threw him a surprise party! and THANK YOU to everyone who came!! It was big success and Joshua couldnt have had a better time :) Joshua and I are so incredibly blessed with amazing friends and family!! I also took this opprotunity to spoil him rotten since it was his first birthday since we've been married!!

I love my Joshua <3



Botanical Gardens

So we FINALLY made it to the Dallas Arboretum and Botanical Gardens! I've been wanting to go for a very long time! (since Christmas) Joshua finally took me, and my best friend Amanda was able to come as well and take some pictures of Joshua and I! We don't have all of them yet but the few we have seen are GREAT! Amanda is such a good photographer and an even better friend! We all had a blast looking at such beautiful flowers! I can't wait to go again during the Holidays :)

 

The Honeymoon!

Joshua and I had the best time on our honeymoon!! We took a five day cruise to Progresso and Cozumel, Mexico. It was beautiful to see the ocean and we were able to do some pretty amazing things!

Once we got onto the ship we did a lot of exploring, but we mostly hung out on top of the ship to enjoy the air and the gorgeous waves!

We first reached Progresso, Mexico and we had the opportunity to go hiking and see the Mayan Ruins. To be honest i was pretty miserable because it was 100% humidity and it was raining haha. But Joshua made it fun for me :)

After Progresso we spent a day on the ship until we got to Cozumel, Mexico. That by far was our favorite experience!! We went bottomless kayaking and snorkeling! We got to see dolphins and walrus' plus A LOT of fish! But trust us, the water DID NOT taste good! ;)

WE'RE MARRIED!

The day finally came! We actually tied the knot!! 

Joshua looked so handsome in his tux and i felt wonderful in my dress! We were surrounded by amazing family and friends.  It was a day we will always remember in our minds and especially our hearts. 

Joshua and I were sealed together in the Dallas Texas Temple for time and all eternity. During the ceremony we were joined by a small group of family and friends who were able to witness our union. 

Its been just short of seven months since that special day and it has been the BEST seven months of my entire life! :)